When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together
Sacha Guitry
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
Dumas
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' Sam Kinison
'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.' Sam Kinison
'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
James Holt McGavra
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murra
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
Nash
You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to. Anonymous
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Henny Youngman
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Anonymous
SEND THIS TO ALL THE GUYS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH......AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Cool Meanings in new Dictionary.
1. Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at
the other.
2. Love affairs :
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more
popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage :
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman
gains her master .
4. porce :
Future tense of marriage .
5. Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the
notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise :
The art of piding a cake in such a way that everybody believes he
got the biggest piece.
8. Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine
water-power. ..
9. Dictionary :
A place where porce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room :
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody
disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy :
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never
felt before.
12. Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile :
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office :
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn :
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc :
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee:
Inpiduals who can do nothing inpidually and sit to
decide thatnothing can be done together.
18. Experience :
The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb :
An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher :
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat :
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually
look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist :
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist :
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am
not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of
the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
25. Miser :
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father:
A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss :
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician :
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor :
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer :
One who gets paid for reading such mails...
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at
the other.
2. Love affairs :
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more
popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage :
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman
gains her master .
4. porce :
Future tense of marriage .
5. Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the
notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise :
The art of piding a cake in such a way that everybody believes he
got the biggest piece.
8. Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine
water-power. ..
9. Dictionary :
A place where porce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room :
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody
disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy :
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never
felt before.
12. Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile :
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office :
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn :
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc :
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee:
Inpiduals who can do nothing inpidually and sit to
decide thatnothing can be done together.
18. Experience :
The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb :
An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher :
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat :
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually
look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist :
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist :
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am
not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of
the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
25. Miser :
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father:
A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss :
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician :
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor :
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer :
One who gets paid for reading such mails...
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